Emerging From a Mother Funker
Recently a friend of mine posted one of those emotionally-obscure messages on Facebook.
You know, the ones that force everyone on the other end of the news feed to decide whether to keep scrolling, write some perfunctory ‘you can do it’ comment, or rush over with paramedics.
I sent a text.
“Yes,” she replied, “just in a bit of a funk.”
This is a word I hear a lot.
And, just like my friend, we throw it around like it’s not a big deal or that – with enough mantras, exercise, or positive psychology – life will eventually get back to “normal”.
The problem is there’s no such thing as normal.
“Normal” is what we expect, but sometimes life has other plans.
Sometimes life shifts without warning, forcing us to redefine everything.
In other words, “normal” is outside our control – and so the only card we have to play is how we handle it.
Since you’re here, I’m going to assume you know this starts with perspective.
And since you’re here, I’m also going to assume you know perspective is like that amusement park game where you whack a mallet and hope to ring the bell.
Sometimes you get it and sometimes you don’t.
The thing to keep in mind as you aim for higher perspective is that it’s always rooted in eternal truths.
Love. Kindness. Character. Values.
Rut-inducing lower perception is rooted in fleeting emotion.
Fear. Anger. Frustration. Judgement.
Funks are your mind skipping like a record on low perception.
It’s a pattern that often looks similar to this:
Life overwhelm —–> Fear —–> Anger —–> Distance from loved ones —–> Guilt —–> Funk.
What causes life overwhelm? One word: Attachment.
More specifically, attachment to our comfortable definition of normal – and when that gets rocked, so do we.
Take Morgan, my friend and Awake Exec sister. This week Morgan wrote a heart-wide-open post about her mother’s recent divorce and diagnosis with breast cancer.
Is the “detached” solution for Morgan to love her mother less?
The highest perception asks that she love her mother more and deeper.
With intense appreciation of each shared moment as it is – and yet detached from what it will be.
A lower perception would have Morgan longing for the past, making her unavailable in the present, which is precisely where her mother needs her.
But it’s now.
And by accepting it, the funk tends to lift.
In turn, so do we.