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That’s what it’s called when you take a challenge and cover it with positive mantras.
In minor situations pinkwashing can be helpful, but unfortunately we use it mostly as a form of denial and a way to avoid or ignore problems versus facing and solving them.
As a student of A Course in Miracles, I often hear that “love” is the only bottom line – which means that love is the filter principle in all decision-making.
But what does “love” as the ultimate ground of our being actually look like and does it have a place in a world of hard charging?
I received an answer to this question recently in the form of a teacher whose son is an alcoholic.
As is frequently the case in these situations, the son had made a string of poor decisions resulting in marital distress, physical harm, and near financial ruin. Even so, a mother’s love runs deep and so the teacher made numerous attempts to help her son – culminating with an intervention that landed him in a rehab facility against his will.
Needless to say, he’s livid.
So angry in fact that he has refused to speak to her for weeks. While other family members visit for hours on end, his own mother doesn’t get so much as a text.
“That must be very painful,” I said to her.
“In one sense,” she replied, “but as long as he’s being loved, it doesn’t have to be by me.”
Think about that perspective for a moment.
Here is a woman whose only concern is that her son receive love, while completely detaching from how it shows up.
By focusing on the content of love and not the form, she is able to find peace.
No frantic calling.
No manipulative attempts to discourage other family from visiting.
Her only prayer is “Let him be loved and remove the blocks so that he may love himself.”
Some may say that this is actually pinkwashing in disguise, but I don’t think so.
She isn’t avoiding the issue, only choosing her experience of it.
Her story is also reflective of a very powerful Truth: The end is inherent in the means.
In other words, if the path you choose is one of chaos and anger, then your destination will be those things too.
This is ultimately what makes love not only a mature approach to living, but a genuine social force. It moves the energy of other people – and therefore the situation itself – in a positive direction like nothing else.
And that’s not pinkwashing, by the way.
That’s the miracle.